


The Color of Envy

by Fawkes_Rinzler



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Ernest goes on dates, Father-Son Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Repost of previous fic, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, They don't go well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-08 18:55:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11652645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fawkes_Rinzler/pseuds/Fawkes_Rinzler
Summary: Lucien has a crush on Ernest, but Ernest isn't sure he feels the same.





	1. Chapter 1

When he came out to Ernest and confessed his feelings, Lucien knew that he’d gotten off easy on the outcome. Ernest hadn’t been terribly surprised, but then, Lucien hadn’t been terribly subtle. The smaller teen had been so kind to Lucien, explaining that while he wasn’t really interested in other guys, he did care for Lucien, and he was interested in continuing their friendship as it was.

Ernest hadn’t been disgusted or angry. He’d invited Lucien over to hang out the very next day, and things largely went back to the way they were, with Lucien pining and Ernest acting as nothing more than a very close friend. Things had been just fine, normal even, or as normal as they could be. And Lucien was very happy.

Until one afternoon, well over a year later, while Lucien and Ernest were hanging out on the roof of their school. Ernest turned and looked at Lucien, “Hey, so I wanted to tell you somethin...”

Lucien took a long drag of his cigarette. Most kids were switching to E-cigs. He liked to think of himself as old-fashioned, “Ya?”

“I’m going out on a date with Chelsea tonight. You think I should take her to the movies or what?” Ernest turned and looked at him before snuffing out his own cigarette. Lucien, froze, his stomach twisting in his gut as a sudden nausea struck him like a baseball bat to the face. Suddenly, the sun felt too hot, the air felt too muggy, and Lucien’s mind felt too muddled. A week of barely eating seemed to be rearing its ugly head, but Lucien knew better. This wasn’t his lack of appetite coming back to bite him. This was a thousand horrible and terrifying thoughts of Ernest and Chelsea walking around everywhere, making kissy faces and acting all adorable and romantic. It was the idea of Ernest never shutting up about Chelsea, of Chelsea suddenly taking Ernest away from him. The worst thought was that Chelsea was Lucien’s friend as well! They were partners in Biology! It wasn’t even like Lucien could be angry or find fault in her. She was such a sweet girl.

Lucien swayed and Ernest grabbed his arm to pull him back, “Woah, easy man! Jesus, you’re not falling on me! Your dad would probably turn me into one of his undead minions if I let you fall,” Ernest pulled his friend more securely onto the roof before guiding him to the stairwell, “Sun must be getting to you, dude. Gotta make sure your pale, gothic ass doesn’t die of heatstroke.” 

Lucien was only vaguely aware of Ernest’s gentle hands around him even as he was roughly guided down the stairs. Even in his addled state, Lucien grabbed his phone and texted his father that he’d be home shortly. Ernest helped him into his car, but when he grabbed the seatbelt, Lucien slapped his hands away, “I’m fine, the silver-haired teen growled, a sudden burn of resentment for the boy in his guts. He knew that envy was not a good color, but he couldn’t help it. Rationality had called it a night early and Lucien was left alone to pick up the tab with his drunk friend, Emotion.

When Ernest pulled into the driveway of his house, Lucien didn’t even wait for him to cut the engine before he jumped out and started for his house.

“Hey, Are you okay? Lucien!” Ernest shouted after him, but Lucien ignored the teen’s confused and angry shouts. He fished his keys out of pocket, unlocked the door to his house, and slammed it shut without even stopping to get the door open. Lucien knew he wasn’t handling the situation gracefully. He knew he was acting like an impertinent child without any real cause, but his affections were driving him forward and Lucien couldn’t help the tears that were stinging in his eyes. He retreated to the bathroom to take care of it, hoping to head off the tears before they turned into fullblown crying.

He barely shut the bathroom door before a choked sob escaped him. He crumpled against the wall, hands pressing against his eyes to keep them from burning. His breaths came out sharp and painful, stinging in his lungs until one hand had to retreat to his chest just to press against it, to alleviate the pain in another way. 

It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair.

~~~~~~~~~

Damien knew something was wrong when he got home that day. Ernest had been hanging out in his driveway, kicking rocks in random directions until Damien had pulled up in the driveway. The teen had walked over to him and motioned to roll down his windows.

“Your kid got all sick while we were hanging on the roof today. Didn’t wanna disturb him,” Ernest sounded so bitter and resentful that Damien was left to wonder just what exactly had happened. He waited and watched as Ernest left, seemingly to walk back to his house, but then he saw Chelsea, Lucien’s biology partner, pull up in her car. She got out and the two began to talk. Ernest seemed all shy and nervous, Chelsea seemed equally nervous, but also amused by how awkward Ernest was acting, and then they got into Ernest’s car and drove away.

Everything clicked for Damien a second later, and he quickly got out of his car to check on his son. His little crush on Ernest hadn’t been a secret. When Damien locked the front door behind him, he looked around the foyer, trying to find some hint as to where his son was. He then spotted the black, studded backpack sitting in the center of the hall, towards the closed bathroom door. Damien bit his lip as he approached, prepared for the worst.

His son’s infatuation had been a roller coaster for Damien, as he watched his son devote himself to a boy who could not share those feelings. Damien had tried his best to be supportive, even in the face of a bleak future full of heartbreak. When he reached the bathroom door, Damien knocked gently before speaking.

“Lucien?” Damien paused and closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than to push open the door, pick up his son, and cradle him until the world became okay again. But Lucien was no longer a child where his only tears were from scraped knees and bumped heads. This was more. Not love perhaps, but affection at least. And his son would never want to talk about this. It would only make the situation worse, “I’ll order pizza?” Damien called gently, “We can a movie, whichever one you want,” Damien tried to think, wracking his brain for the other things his son loved to do with him, that cheered him up when he was sad, “We can re-do your nail polish. I noticed it was chipping this morning.”

Against all hope, Lucien peaked his head through the bathroom door. His eyes were bright red, a stark color against his pale face and silver-grey hair. Damien could trace the marks of tears down his son’s face. But he had opened the door, which was a good sign, “We can spend the night in our pajamas? And eat in front of the TV?” Lucien mumbled, his voice catching as he finished each question. Damien smiled and nodded.

“Of course. Tomorrow’s a weekend. We can stay up all night if you want, although I can’t promise I’ll be awake for all of it.”

Lucien nodded slowly as he finally walked out of the bathroom, wiping his eyes roughly and sniffling, “I’ll go get changed.”

Damien smiled, “And I’ll order the pizza. Large, with mushrooms?”

“And peppers,” Lucien’s voice was barely above a whisper, but in the silent house, Damien caught it. He nodded and went to the kitchen to grab the phone as he heard Lucien stumble upstairs. The thought of his heartbroken son, no doubt floundering just to find a way to keep moving that night made Damien want to weep for his son, to know the pain he was in.

He’d once felt quite the same.

Lucien dialed the number for the pizza place before going onto Dadbook to message Hugo.

_“It is with great remorse that I find myself otherwise engaged tonight, my dear friend. My Son has experienced the greatest of emotional wroughts that I must come to his aid. My deepest and most sincerest of apologies upon this sudden change of our evening’s intended plans.”_

_“No problem at all, Damien. Is Lucien okay?”_

Damien hesitated at this. Though the better half of the cul de sac had guessed at his son’s infatuations, he was no more inclined to give out any information, _“As with all emotional burdens of this nature, time will be the essential factor. Perhaps we may attempt afternoon tea tomorrow, assuming my son is of a better disposition?”_

_“That sounds wonderful. I’ll see you tomorrow.”_

With the situation settled, Damien put away his computer, finished ordering his pizza, then retreated into the family room, where Lucien was putting in a DVD.

“What entertainment are we engaging in tonight, my son?”

Lucien made a face before holding up the DVD case of TRON. Despite it’s decidedly un-goth plot, TRON had been a movie that Damien had been watching with his Son since Lucien was barely able to walk. It had nostalgic value for them both.

“Good choice,” Damien chuckled, “The Pizza should be here in twenty minutes,” Lucien looked like he was ready speak, but Damien cut him off, “And yes, because it’s a special night, I’ll let you scare the pizza delivery man, but please let me pay him before you run him off,” Damien finished with a sigh. Lucien didn’t quite smile, but it was a lighter expression than the one he’d been wearing before, and Damien was grateful for the change. Perhaps the night was not totally lost.


	2. Chapter 2

From Damien’s perspective, the night seemed to be going well. An empty box of pizza sat on their coffee table, the movie was playing in the background, and Lucien seemed content as Damien touched up his black nail polish. Damien was ready to hope that the rest of the night would go so smoothly until he looked up at his son’s face, to see if Lucien was enjoying the movie.

Fresh tears were streaming down his face, and though his body remained still, Damien could not miss the way his son’s breathing seemed to come out stuttered and forced. Damien wasn’t sure how to respond, whether to pause the movie to comfort his son or continue as if he hadn’t seen anything, but Lucien decided for him when he spoke.

“Boys suck.”

Damien winced at how pained the voice sounded. He put the nail polish aside and pulled Lucien into a tight hug as the boy let out a choked sob. Damien rubbed his son’s back and rocked him gently as he felt his shirt grow wet with tears. The movie continued to play, no longer noticed by its watchers. It wasn’t until the credits began to roll that Lucien finally stopped crying, and not even because he was feeling better. He’d just fallen asleep. Damien stared down at his son, hanging loosely in his arms as a final tear slipped from between closed lids. 

With the house now quiet, and his son no longer needing him, Damien realized just how lost he felt. He looked around the room, hoping that one of the walls or the shelves might hold an answer for him. However, none of the furniture came to his aid, and so Damien was left to look back down at his son. Lucien needed his sleep.... Damien was loathe to disturb his son, so he carefully laid the boy out on the couch and draped a blanket over him before turning off the TV and cleaning up from the pizza. The box went in recycling and their plates went in the sink. 

Cleaned up from dinner and once again at a loss, Damien checked the clock. It was only 8:30, hardly time to go to sleep, but the thought of goose-stepping around for the rest of the night made him depressed. He wandered from the kitchen into the family room. Lucien was firmly asleep, his face now completely relaxed and his body curled in on himself. Damien smiled fondly. His son had always been such a calm looking sleeper. 

His mind made up, Damien put on his cloak, stepped out of the house, and locked it behind him. He then crossed the street to the Vega household. Ernest’s car was still gone, which meant he was still out with Chelsea. The lights were on, though. No doubt that Hugo hadn’t made plans given how suddenly Damien cancelled on him. Damien suddenly felt awkward at this, and deeply considered going back to his house to pick some flowers as an apology to Hugo. Just as Damien was ready to turn around and leave, the front door opened.

“Damien! I’m sorry, did I not hear you knock?” Hugo asked as he adjusted he glasses. Damien spun around, surprise on his face

“Ah! No, my friend! I was simply considering returning to my home to bring some token of apology for my suddenness in cancelling tonight,” Damien admitted with a nervous chuckle, “My son was...” Damien dropped his head and sighed, “He needed me.”

Hugo smiled sadly and nodded, “Lemme guess, Ernest and Chelsea?”

Damien nodded and Hugo sighed, “Come on in. I’ll make us some tea and we can talk a bit.”

Damien smiled in relief as Hugo stepped aside to allow him in. They walked to the kitchen, where the Duchess Cordelia immediately jumped on Damien. With a delighted chuckle, Damien began to pet her, doing his best to be kind as he pushed her away, “My apologies, dear girl, but if I return home with your fur upon my person, my son will suffer from a rather egregious allergy attack, I fear,” Damien cooed as he pet her. 

“Come, Cordelia,” Hugo shook his head and offered a grimace, “She’s so sweet but it’s impossible to train her out of jumping on people. It feels almost like she’s trying to establish a respect thing when people come over. I wouldn’t know, though.”

Damien shrugged as he sat down at the kitchen table. The Duchess made herself comfortable at Damien’s feet and he reached down to give her a quick, lazy scratch on the head, “It’s possible. If any dog would do it, I believe it would be Cordelia,” Damien chuckled. The Duchess lifted her head and looked up at Damien, as if she knew he was talking about her. Then she laid back down again and let out a relaxed sigh. Hugo finally sat down at the table across from Damien and handed him a mug.

“How’s Lucien holding up?” Hugo asked gently.

“Not..... Not great,” Damien admitted, “I feel awful speaking about my son like this, but I hope I have your confidence.”

“Of course.”

Damien nodded, “Well, when I returned home from work today, I found him in the bathroom in tears.... Ernest was waiting for me at the drive way and told me Lucien had been sick, but when I saw him drive away with Chelsea, I was able to figure it out.”

Hugo nodded and Damien shook his head at the memory, “We ordered pizza, we watched our usual movie.... He seemed to be doing well, but then he suddenly broke down again and he fell asleep in my arms. I don’t know, Hugo..... I want to help him, but I don’t know how.”

Hugo let out a sigh, “That’s.... that’s not an easy position to be in, I imagine. It’s a good thing it’s the weekend, I suppose. He can take some time for himself until school starts again on Monday.”

Damien nodded slowly, “I wish I could somehow take the pain away.”

Hugo reached across the table and took Damien’s hand in his own. A sad, gentle smile glowed across his face, lighting up his already warm, brown eyes, “Your his father, Damien, of course that’s what you want. It’s what every parent wishes they could do for their child. You’ll wish that every time he goes through a new heartbreak. Of course, you won’t be able to take away the pain, but as long as you’re there for him, I’m sure you’ll be able to lessen it, even if only a little.”

Damien bowed his head, “Thank you, my friend.... That does ease the pain in my heart a little...”

Hugo chuckled sadly, “I don’t now how else to help you, Damien, but if you do want my advice, I’d suggest taking Lucien out of the city tomorrow. Maybe drive into the country with him, or into a neighboring town. Getting him away from, well....Ernest... might help a little,” Hugo offered, “Sometimes distance and time is the best medicine.”

Damien smiled, “Thank you, Hugo. That does help. I think I’ll take your advice on that.”

Hugo nodded, “I hope he feels better, Damien. Lucien’s a good kid, even if he doesn’t always put his best foot forward. I can imagine just how hard this must be for him.”

Damien took a sip of his tea and sighed, “The first heartbreak is always the hardest.”

“That it is.”

The two drank their tea in companionable silence, unwilling to break the peaceful stillness in the air for such monotonous endeavors as talking. The night wore on at a slow pace, hours slipping by, until the sound of a car pulling into the driveway broke through the night. Damien bit his lip as he heard the inaudible conversation between Chelsea and Ernest. Soon, far sooner than Damien expected, the front door opened and shut and Ernest padded into the kitchen.

“Hey Dad, I– Oh.” 

Damien turned to look at Ernest. The boy was looking sideways at the fridge, shuffling his feet, the very picture of discomfort.

“Is Lucien feeling better?”

Damien finished his tea, wishing he didn’t have to answer the question but knowing that it would look odd if he continued to hold the mug to his mouth when there was nothing left in it. He set the mug aside and smiled a ‘thank you’ to Hugo. Then he looked back at Ernest.

“No, not really,” He admitted, “He’s actually at home asleep right now. I think he fell a little under the weather. I’ll be keeping him inside tomorrow,” Damien explained as he stood to leave.

“Oh..... We were gonna hang out, but....” Ernest let the sentence hang, his gaze finally sinking to the floor as Duchess finally woke up and noticed Ernest was home. As she greeted the boy jubilantly, Damien went to the door.

“Maybe on Sunday. I think I just want him to rest tomorrow, Ernest. His voice sounded a little hoarse when I was making dinner and I wouldn’t want you to get sick,” Damien explained, wishing he didn’t have to lie but knowing that his son would sooner kill him before letting him explain the real answer, “Hugo, thank you so much for the tea. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Hugo didn’t seem at all confused as to Damien’s rushed to departure. He only smiled and nodded, “I’ll meet you at 6. Goodnight, Damien. I hope Lucien feels better.”

“Ya,” Ernest muttered, eyes still glued to the floor. Damien quickly shut the door and hurried from the Vega house, feeling more than a little uncomfortable from the transpired events. He quickly unlocked the door and stepped inside before locking the door again behind him. He shed his cloak and put it on the coatrack before walking by the bathroom and grabbing Lucien’s forgotten schoolbag.

“Just this once, Lucien, I’ll bring it up for you,” Damien mumbled to himself with a sad smile as he peaked into the family room. Sure enough, Lucien was still asleep in bed, curled up safely in his blankets, completely asleep. Damien set the bag down and snuck into the family room to close the blinds before retrieving the bag once more and going upstairs. He didn’t want the morning sun to disturb Lucien’s sleep. The boy would probably still be so tired, come morning.

It was well past 10 o’clock when Damien finally crawled into bed. His hair and teeth were brushed, his face was washed, and he was more than ready to go to sleep. As he curled up in bed and closed his eyes, Damien thought back to his son downstairs. Lucien had always been such a sensitive boy, so easily impacted by the world around him. Raising him alone had never been easy, but Damien liked to think he’d done his best for his son. When Lucien had started suffering from anxiety about going to school, Damien had pulled him out and homeschooled him for a few years. When Lucien had decided he wanted to go back, Damien ensured that he was caught up so he wouldn’t fall behind in class. When Lucien had started suffering from depression, Damien had found him a therapist. Whenever Lucien had needed help, his father had been there for him...

But now, Damien wasn’t really sure what to do. As he rolled and closed his eyes, Damien tried to figure out where he could take his son the next day, and fell asleep before the answer came.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, at Lucien’s request, they went to the Aquarium. It wasn’t as far as Damien had expected, not even out of the greater Maple Bay area but he was pleased by his son’s choice. He was able to sit down on one of the benches and enjoy his book as Lucien sat down in front of the Jellyfish tank and stared. Damien could never begin to describe his son’s fascination with Jellyfish, but it was rather cute to watch. Two hours in pure and utter silence as Lucien stared, utterly enraptured by the brainless little Medusozoa. At one point, Lucien disappeared, but Damien didn’t worry. Lucien would never just abandon him at the Aquarium.

It was a very odd personal rule that his son held to. One that Damien would never really understand.

“Dad, can I get an Axolotl?” 

Damien jumped in surprise as he looked beside him. Lucien was sitting on the bench, rocking back and forth like an impatient child. His hair swung back and forth in front of his face until it finally caught on his nose. Damien chuckled softly as he brushed the hair back to see his Son’s eyes. 

“What are Axolotl?” Damien asked, and immediately knew that was a mistake, as Lucien launched into diatribe about the Amphibians that had legs but looked like fish and were utterly beautiful and a perfect pet for Lucien, and ‘Dad you don’t understand, I’ve always wanted a pet, please!’. 

Damien held out his hands before his son could turn blue in the face from lack of oxygen, “Okay, okay... I’ll read about a good place to get one when we get home, okay?” Damien offered. Lucien didn’t smile–His son almost never smiled–but the bright glint in his eyes did relieve Damien quite a bit. It was the brightest he’d seen his son in months.

Maybe a pet would be good for Lucien.... Damien mused over this as they finally got in the car to drive home. Ernest had certainly straightened out upon acquiring a pet. Perhaps Lucien needed that same responsibility. Damien decided he’d talk to Hugo that night about acquiring an Axolotl while they were at the Coffee Spoon. Damien’s thoughts came to a halt when he recalled that. Ah yes... He hadn’t told Lucien.

“Um... I’ll be engaging in coffee and pastry pleasantries at the Coffee Spoon tonight with Hugo Vega. Will you be alright by yourself?” Damien asked gently. Lucien raised his eyebrow at his father.

“You engage coffee and pastry pleasantries every two weeks at the Coffee Spoon with Hugo Vega, Dad,” Lucien pointed out, “I’m usually alright, why would tonight be any different?”

Damien stayed quiet. It wouldn’t do Lucien any good to point out that he usually spent those night with Ernest... He didn’t want to open that wound. As they pulled into the Cul de sac, though, it turned out that something would be tearing into his son anyways, as Ernest stood in their drive way, arms crossed, lips pulled in a sneer. Damien stopped on the street and closed his eyes, a breath escaping him.

“What does that asshole want?” Lucien grumbled as Damien drove the last few feet into their driveway. Damien turned off the car and tried to get out first, to bid Ernest leave, but Ernest beat them both to the punch.

“Hey, Twilight Reject, you doing better or is your sorry ass gonna faint if we stay out here?” Ernest snapped. Lucien scoffed and flicked Ernest on the forehead as he moved to walk by, but Ernest grabbed Lucien’s wrist and yanked him back, “Come on, dude, tonight’s Skate 3! Don’t tell me you’re too sick to play Skate 3!”

Lucien paused, and Damien shut his eyes to pray to whatever gods were out there that his son didn’t slug Ernest Hemingway Vega in their driveway. When he opened his eyes again, Lucien was still in Ernest’s grip, looking at the boy with the scrutinizing gaze of an angry, goth teen.... 

“Ya, fine.... We’re not ordering pizza though, I had that last night,” Lucien muttered. 

Ernest nodded, “Fine with me. Chels and I were gonna grab pizza but the movie went awful...”

Lucien spun around and looked at Ernest now, eyes wide, listening intently, “What happened?” He asked slowly.

Ernest shrugged, “Girl’s not into the Roms, dude. I’ll tell you about it when you tell me where we’re ordering food tonight.”

Lucien nodded before leading Ernest inside. Damien looked from the boys to Hugo’s house across the street. Part of him wanted to run over, to ask what happened, but he knew he’d get the details that night, at The Coffee Spoon. He knew it was rude to gossip... but he couldn’t wait to hear the gruesome details from Ernest’s father himself.

Damien slipped into his house, snuck by the boys that were already ordering out crappy, takeout Chinese, and went to get changed. The boys were already back to their old selves, nearly hanging off of each other as Lucien ordered their food and Ernest shouted modifications over the phone. Damien shook his head and smiled to himself once he was safely upstairs. He knew it wasn’t his business, but... Those two really did deserve each other...

~~~~~~~

“So, she’s not into romance flicks?” Lucien asked as he looked over at Ernest. The boy burst out laughing as their model character flung himself off the edge of a cliff, seemingly eager to sail to his demise. Ernest’s laugh faded though when Lucien’s words finally hit him.

“Nah, Dude. She made jokes throughout the whole film! Who even does that in the face of true love?” Ernest demanded. Lucien chuckled softly. He did, when he was alone, knowing that he could scoff at the horrible acting without his crush in hearing distance, but Lucien also knew why Ernest clung to those movies so tightly.... Coming from a divorced home made him hold to the fantasy of romance movies. Lucien would never disrespect that, no matter how horrible the acting was.

“It’s criminal,” Lucien answered, without skipping a beat. Ernest handed off the controller before grabbing his plate and fishing off his orange chicken. It tasted disgusting after being left to sit for an hour, but it was food, and for that, Ernest was grateful. “I’m thinking about buying an Axolotl.”

“The leggy fish?” Ernest chuckled, “Ya, man, that sounds perfect for you. Finally get that pet you always wanted, one that ignores you, hides all day, and only comes out for food or because it accidentally happened to swim by. A water cat, essentially. Sounds great,” Ernest teased. Lucien nudged him with his foot before handing off the controller as their avatar decided it would be a great moment to clip through an I-Beam and die through impalement. Lucien rolled his eyes as he grabbed his fake, knock off chow mein and began polishing it off with a vengeance. “This game was so broken... And at least I won’t die if I accidentally come into contact with it,” Lucien pointed out with a smirk as he poked Ernest, “Unless you want to host Skate 3 night at your house and pay for my funeral. Is that it, Ernest? Do you want me to die by allergies?”

Ernest looked Lucien up and down with a critical gaze, “If you make me fail my English Lit test like last month, I might consider sneaking the Duchess in here.”  
“Monster,” Lucien hummed as he set his to go box aside and stretched, a yawn escaping him, “What movie did you and Chelsea go see last night anyways?”

“The Color of Love. I barely even heard it over the comments,” Ernest scowled. Lucien hummed as he grabbed his computer to look up the movie times.

“Can’t believe you didn’t walk out, honestly. Good job, Ern, you’re really getting ahold of that temper.....” Lucien hummed as he scrolled through their cinema options.

“I almost did,” Ernest admitted, “But I tried to stick it out until the end. I thought maybe she’d tire out at some point.”

Lucien chuckled softly. If there was one thing he knew about Chelsea from Bio, it was that the girl had staying power like no one’s business, “They’re showing it tomorrow at 4 at the Mall’s cinema? We can grab dinner when we’re done and then hit lasertag right after?”

“Oh shit, ya, lasertag’s tomorrow!” Ernest slapped his forehead, “Totally forgot... but ya, that sounds good. You buying the tickets?”  
“Only if you buy dinner,” Lucien warned, “I’m only going to see this movie with you because I feel bad that you missed it yesterday.”

Ernest smirked, “You take suuuuch good care of me,” He teased as he got up and ruffled Lucien’s hair, “I’m gotta go take a piss.”

“You are the embodiment of class, Vega,” Lucien muttered after his friend as he grabbed the controller and started playing again. Maybe he could try clipping through a car again. That had been funny. Last time he’d done that, the game hadn’t registered any damage until five minutes later. “This game is so broken.”


	4. Chapter 4

A year passed, and with it, more teenage drama and angst than could be described. Lucien and Ernest finally passed Sophomore year, which felt like nothing short of a miracle, particularly for Ernest. Lucien got his Axolotl, a small black thing that Lucien had lovingly dubbed “Toothless” from How to Train Your Dragon. Ernest tried dating again, before ultimately swearing off the practice until he was done college. Lucien had handled the news better that time around, choosing instead to retreating to the aid of his new therapy pet. And when it didn’t work out, things went right back to normal.

Ernest and Lucien got closer, if that was even possible. It reached a point where it became downright strange to see one without the other. Lucien found a summer job, Ernest started hunting for college, and the two continued to hang out every other Sunday night and order takeout while playing Skate 3. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“So, I went on a date with this girl yesterday.” Ernest began and Lucien let out an inaudible sigh as he rested his head against his hand. They were stuck in traffic, driving to meet their group for Lasertag. Ernest usually drove, but he’d stopped by the mall where Lucien worked, and so he silver-haired teen volunteered to drive, “You wouldn’t guess what her favorite short story is....”

“Twilight?” Lucien muttered dryly, already hating this girl he didn’t even know. He knew it was silly, but at this point, he didn’t care. He’d discovered a useful little formula to solve the issue of emotions. He’d take it as they came, experienced the anger, the loathing, the sadness, and then he’d fantasize about a future where he could move to Seattle and become a famous journalist and never have to think of Ernest again..... And Ernest would be happy with his wife and Lucien would never need to miss them because he’d be happy! By himself.... in Seattle....alone...

Lucien shook his head firmly when he realized that the traffic was lighter in the other lane and he moved over.

“Nah, dude! The Cask of Amontillado! When she was telling me about it, I immediately thought about that time you tried to do that to me... Heh. Remember?”

Lucien felt his stomach drop out. Goddamn.... He just reread that short story this morning. It was his favorite too....Lucien made a mental note to burn his copy of Edgar Allen Poe’s short stories the moment he got home that night. The fact that he liked the same book that Ernest’s newest date liked...

There could only be one... And Lucien was too tired to fight to be on top.

“I thought you said you’d sworn of dating...” Lucien mumbled finally, his heart not into the conversation.

“Eh, she asked me out. I don’t think it’s gonna be serious, but she’s a nice girl. We might try again next week,” Ernest admitted. Lucien nodded slowly, his thoughts on the two other times Ernest had tried dating. They’d never lasted longer than two dates... He supposed he’d have to wait until next week to hear the final conclusion on the matter.

“Our turn is coming up.....dude...dude, dude dude!!! Lucien, our turn!” Lucien blinked back into wakefulness and watched as their turnoff came and went. 

Whoops.

“Dude, you feeling okay? You look a little pale,” Ernest muttered, “Maybe we should skip lasertag tonight...”

“Nah, I’m fine,” Lucien answered as he imagined sitting at a coffee shop with his scarf and his cigarette and his computer in front of him, writing a pulitzer prize winning article. It was a nice fantasy. It kept him focused for the rest of the drive to the plaza. Their little sidetrip didn’t take longer than a minute, and by the time they got out of the car, they were still missing half of their team. Lucien was grateful for the distraction of lastertag to keep his mind off of the new girlfriend that happened to also like Poe’s short stories. 

“So, Lucien, how’s the new job?”

Lucien looked over at a smirking Carmensita, her bright eyes just glowing with mischief that would soon come with Lasertag. There was a reason why she was the top of the game...

“Not bad. I don’t think any of my coworkers really like me very much,” Lucien admitted with a chuckle, “But the customers are nice and the job is fairly simple, so you know...” Lucien shrugged, “Not a bad way to earn some money.”

Suddenly, Ernest was there, leaning off of Lucien’s shoulders like a clingy baby koala, “He’s got a bunch of closing shifts this week and his car’s dead to rights so I’m gonna hang out at the mall and drive him home!”

Lucien paused, “I don’t think that phrase means what you think it means, Ernest.”  
“It sounds cool, so shaddap,” Ernest ruffled Lucien’s hair before walking away from him, “Besides, I’m your ride, so you gotta be nice to me.”

“You know I don’t need you to drive me, right?” Lucien pointed out as they made their way into the cacophonous arcade, “My dad is usually volunteering at the shelter around the time we’re done closing. He can always drive me home.”

“Shuttup!!!” Ernest shoved Lucien, “I am your only possible way to get home you’d be helpless without me and you know it,” Lucien shrugged and pat Ernest’s shoulder.

“Sure, dude... If that helps you sleep tonight.” Lucien offered. Carmensita fell into step beside him again and the two continued chatting as Ernest ran to catch up with the others. They always played on a full team, usually against a hoard of Elementary school kids. Half the time, they got their asses hand to them, the other half, they were the top of the leaderboard for the night.

Tonight was one of their losing streaks.

“Come on!” Carmensita shouted as they walked back into the bright arcade. It was honestly almost quieter than it had been in the lastertag arena, but only barely, “I totally got at least twice as many points! This is such BS!”

“Easy, Carm,” Lucien growled as he clapped her on the shoulder, “We’ll get our revenge. The next group we’re up against is a group of four adults and some homeschool group. They’ll be pushovers.”

“Yes!!!” Carmensita’s smile turned feral as she ran off to prepare her game for the next mission. Lucien looked around the Arcade before wandering off to find the rest of the group. Chelsea and the other girls had gone to grab some snacks with Ernest and the boys had gone to grab some tokens for the Arcade. They had a twenty minute layover before their next mission. Lucien stopped over with the boys and grabbed the tokens for the girls before going to Chelsea and the rest and trading tokens for snacks. He returned to Ernest and the rest of the guys with their snacks before taking a seat by the DDR game. Ernest was kicking ass.

“If you guys don’t want to pass out before our next mission, I suggest eating your snacks now before I decide to eat them,” Lucien called as he grabbed his soggy, disgusting, semi-liquid pizza. Ernest looked over and grinned.

“Hell ya, save me one, dude! Almost done wiping the floor with this sorry creep!” 

Lucien examined Ernest’s competition. He didn’t know this guy, but he seemed to frequent the lastertag arcade. Ah well. Lucien made to take another bite of his pizza when Ernest suddenly appeared and grabbed a bite from the other end.

“Hey!” Lucien cried. Ernest cackled as he grabbed a fresh, slice and sat down beside him.

“Relax, man! You never eat the crust anyways. Gimme the rest and I’ll let you start my pizza,” Ernest offered. Lucien paused, tempted... He did love to take the first bite of pizza. He looked around before biting into the offered slice. Ernest chuckled.

“You’re fucking adorable, man,” Ernest murmured with a shake of his head. Lucien stuck out his tongue at his friend and finished his pizza before giving the rest of his crust to Ernest.

“Next mission in ten. Come on, let’s start rounding everyone up,” Lucien called as he got up and held out his hand to Ernest.

Ernest looked up at Lucien and grinned, “We’re gonna wipe the floor with those assholes!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself I'd devote today to trying to edit my story, but then I realized I'm only 2 more chapter away from this story being done, and I decided I'm just going to go for it, since this will be the first multi-chaptered fic I've ever completed! Once the whole story is done and posted, I'll go back and fix up the typos and stuff from there. 
> 
> This fic might end up being longer, but for now, my projected end point is going to be in two more chapters. After that, anything extra will be stand-alone chapters.

College. It was a seven letter, two syllable word that Lucien was learning to loathe. He was already taking classes at the Maple Bay community college, set to graduate from High school the very next year and transfer to MBC to begin an associates in English. No, Lucien’s loathing of the word wasn’t developing because of himself. He was growing to hate it because of Ernest.

The boys were only two months apart in age, but a whole school year off because Lucien was born right before the cut off, and Ernest, right after. Of course, that never stopped their antics, and Lucien didn’t mind being Ernest’s personal tutor for most of their grade school life, but now that was about to change. In two years, Lucien would be in his second year of college, and Ernest would be just graduating. Just graduating to go to a proper university, where there were dorm rooms and classes that were specified to stimulate him, where’d have roommates and new friends. Ernest would be able to exist in his own, private world in a university that was far away, and Lucien would be left behind.

Every day Lucien saw Ernest, his stomach twisted uncomfortably as he imagined his friend packing up to leave for a college five hundred miles away. Would he be missed? At first, perhaps, but then Ernest would become fully engrained in the university’s way of life, and he’d be forgotten about. Lucien wouldn’t forget Ernest, though. He had no intention of leaving Maple Bay, which means memories of Ernest would haunt him like a stubborn ghost of bitter disposition. ‘Left Behind’ was becoming a phrase Lucien was becoming very intimate with.

“Hey, you okay, dude?” Ernest asked as he ruffled Lucien’s hair, “You’ve been distracted all day today. What’s up?” 

Lucien turned to Ernest and smiled as he wrapped his arms around Ernest’s shoulders and pulled him close, “Nothing,” He answered as he pressed his forehead against Ernest’s and sighed. If he could pause time at that exact moment, things would have been perfect.

“Well, if you’re sure,” Ernest said as he pulled away to eye Lucien, “You know I can’t trust you when you say that, right?” Lucien smiled briefly and kissed Ernest’s forehead before patting him on the shoulder.

“Just didn’t sleep well last night, it’s nothing. Brain’s only running at 30%,” He explained as he got up and began to walk back to the house through the flower maze that his father so studiously maintained. Ernest seemed to watch him go, and for a moment, Lucien wondered if Ernest would just let him leave. Then a hand slipped into his own and Lucien looked over to see Ernest smirking at him.

“Anyone every tell you that you’re weird as hell?” Ernest asked. Lucien chuckled.

“Once or twice,” He admitted, “But none as kindly as you,” He added. Ernest let out a scoff that could have been a laugh. Lucien looked over to check. Ernest was wearing an angry, almost self-deprecating look.

“Well, if I had my way, no one would have said it to you at all.... None except me,” Ernest added with a knowing smile. Lucien grabbed Ernest’s orange hood and yanked it off before ruffling his hair. It was like a hug for them, an easy way to express affection without actually needing to get close.

“Don’t worry about it, man. I was pretty weird as a kid.”

“Still,” Ernest murmured, “I admire your fortitude with your weirdness, dude.”

Lucien turned around to look at Ernest, a barely suppressed grin on his face, “Now that is a thousand point word. Fortitude, Ern? Really?”

Ernest shrugged and chuckled as he leaned against one of the lawn’s ornamental gargoyles. Lucien rolled his eyes as the gargoyle was bumped. The statue fell to pieces on the lawn and Lucien had no interest in picking them up at that moment. He’d help his father clean them once he got home that day.

“Been studying for SAT, man, I got big words floating all over in this head of mine,” Ernest chuckled. Lucien smiled back, but it lost its warmth as he imagined Ernest getting the highest grade, because of course Ernest would get the highest grade! The boy was a genius in the making. The world just had yet to see it.

“Jesus H, Lucien! Come here!” Lucien yelped as Ernest grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug, “You know I’m not leaving, right?” Ernest demanded, “I don’t think Dad would let me leave the state even if I wanted to, and I don’t! You know I’m applying to UMB, right? I might not be next door, but I’ll be five minutes away from the mall! I can visit you every night while you’re working and as long as you aren’t working, we’ll hang out every weekend,” Ernest explained.

Lucien sniffled and quickly wiped away his eyes, “I’m sorry, I know it’s stupid. I just-”

“No, Lucien, don’t apologize. I get it, I’m one of your only friends still around and the idea of me leaving is weighing on you. I’ve been seeing it in your eyes since I mentioned I wouldn’t be to MBC with you....” Ernest shook his head and let out a soft sigh as he rubbed Lucien’s back soothingly, “You know you’re my best friend, right?”

Lucien swallowed hard around the lump in his throat. He didn’t want to admit that, in truth, he didn’t. He’d wanted, once, to ask Ernest. They’d been texting before bed and Lucien was ready to ask, but they finally came down to it, Lucien had chickened out, laughing off the whole thing as the anxious mind of someone who doesn’t sleep well at night, and so he’d lived in ignorance the whole time.

This assurance, though. This truth.... It helped. Lucien wrapped his arms around Ernest and swallowed back his emotions before responding with a weak, “Ya.”

Ernest chuckled and pat Lucien’s back, “And you know I don’t want to leave! Not you, not my dad. Sure, I’d like to live on campus the first year, but it doesn’t make sense to do that the whole time I’m at UMB! I live barely 20 minutes away, the commute is way less expensive than the living costs!”

Lucien smirked, but his eyes were still too watery for the spirit of it to properly come across, “Then you’ll be back to texting me at 3 AM because there’s a shadow on the street that looks like my Dad’s familiar but no, wait, it’s actually a cat, never mind?”

“Exactly~!” Ernest ruffled Lucien’s hair and got up, “Now, I gotta head out. My Dad and I are picking up stuff for dinner. You take care, okay?”

“Sure sure,” Lucien waved as Ernest began making his way around the side of his house.

“Hey, I’m still picking you up from work tonight, right?”  
“Ya, and you better be there! I’m not walking home!”

Lucien shook his head and smiled as he watched Ernest walk away, his fears alleviated. Not gone, not completely, but Ernest’s assurances held weight in Lucien’s heart, and settled the worry in his stomach.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you still love Ernest?”

Lucien looked over at his father. Damien was driving him to work that night, as he did almost every night, so he couldn’t look back, but every now and again, Lucien could see red contacts glancing briefly over at him.

“Ya. I do.”

Damien began nodding slowly, “Okay. What are you going to do when Ernest starts dating more seriously?”

Lucien shrugged, “Move?” He offered, “Or finally accept my fate and volunteer to become an android without the capacity to love.”

Damien stopped at a red light, and took the chance to look at his son, “That sounds a little drastic.”

“Androids are the future, Dad. Someone’s gotta volunteer to be cut open and replaced with android parts. It’ll be great. I can live long enough to go to space and adventure throughout the galaxy without any limitations or the fear of my own mortality.”

“And you’ll leave your poor old dad behind?” Damien pouted as he looked over at Lucien. The silver-haired teen glared back in response.

“Dad, do you want to be cut open and replaced with android parts?”

“I’m rather happy as I am right now, honestly. I don’t think I could do eternity as a robot,” Damien admitted with a laugh. Lucien sighed.

“Thank you for making my point.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Oh my god, I had the weirdest dreams last night!”

Lucien looked down at Ernest. They were riding the escalator up to the second floor of the Mall. Ernest had to buy a gift for Hugo’s birthday, and since Lucien had worked that morning, they met up to find a good gift for the teacher. 

“What happened?” Lucien inquired, a small smirk on his face. Ernest always had the strangest dreams, usually involving some sort of video game mashup. Last week, he’d dreamt that he had to rescue the galaxy from the Reapers with the aid of Mario and Cloud Strife. 

Ernest looked up at Lucien and smiled, “I dreamt we were flying over the ocean! You and me, kinda like that scene from Spirited Away? Dude, it was so epic and relaxing, I didn’t want to wake up!”

Lucien raised his eyebrow as Ernest looked around at the stores on the Second Floor, trying to figure out where they should go. Ernest’s dream was very odd to say the least. Very weird thing for him to dream about two friends doing. 

But then, this wasn’t entirely out of the blue either.

In the past year, Ernest had gotten very close to Lucien, taking every opportunity he wasn’t in class at College to visit Lucien and hang around with him. It was nice, really! Very sweet, and Lucien deeply appreciated the amount of time Ernest was dedicating to hang out with him.

Lucien had experienced a very odd but very real panic that, when Ernest would go off to College, Lucien would be left behind. Though they were close friends, Ernest would be spending the first year at the Dorms on the campus, and the idea that Ernest would be living and breathing the college life left Lucien to wonder if he’d be forced to find new friends. Ernest was a likable young man, smart and quick-witted, capable of adjusting to a situation in ways that Lucien could not. Sure, the boy was a video game nerd and cuddler at heart, but when it came to hanging out with others, Ernest was capable in ways that Lucien could only wish for.

In the end, Lucien’s fears were entirely unfounded. Ernest had spent every single Thursday night that Lucien closed waiting in the mall for him, working on homework as Lucien would finish closing up the shop with his coworker. Once they were done, Ernest would drive Lucien home and they’d end up talking in the Bloodmarch driveway for hours. Some nights, it would be simply too late to justify going back to the creepy college campus, so Ernest would spend the night.

At one point, Hugo had complained that Lucien had seen more of Ernest that year than Hugo himself had. It probably wasn’t an incorrect statement.

“Hey, join us on Earth, please. You gotta help me find a gift for my Dad!” Ernest cried, shaking Lucien out of his reverie. It was already mid-April. Lucien would be graduating from college that year, and Ernest would be moving back in with Hugo in the name of saving money. Living at the dorm had been nice, but Ernest had a wicked craving for daily homecooked meals and Lucien could not blame him.

One could only eat breaded chicken strips so often.

“Dude, he’s a teacher. Give him some adorable fricken teacher memorabilia and call it,” Lucien shrugged, “Shame it’s not Christmas, you could give him one of those teacher ornaments.”

“I already gave that for Christmas, Lucien. I’m sure you already remember that, though, given that you were the one to pick it up for me.”

Lucien pause and considered the situation, “There’s that engraving store?”

Ernest turned and stared at Lucien, offering only that blank, dead eyed stare that told Lucien he wasn’t trying and Ernest was disappointed in him.

“How about that Wine place? We can’t buy a bottle, but they also sell olive oils and vinegars. That’s gotta be a place that would interest your dad?” Lucien offered, then his eyes narrowed, “Also, why am I thinking up a gift for your own father?” 

“Because I’m bad at this and you’re good at thinking up Dad gifts! Now, wine store! Let’s go!” Ernest spun around and started walking. Lucien watched him go, lips pulled tightly together as he waited for Ernest to notice that he wasn’t following. The boy turned and looked at him, “What?”

“Wine store’s that way, Ernest,” Lucien threw a thumb over his shoulder and smirked as Ernest quickly turned around and retreated back to him.

“Right right, I knew that.... Onward.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, Lucien dreamt of Ernest. That, in itself, was not unusual. The better half of Lucien’s dreams had been taken up by Ernest over the years. It was more curious when he wasn’t in the dreams than when he was. But this dream was odd. It was different.

In most of Lucien’s dreams, he and Ernest were nothing more than friends, although Lucien’s affections often made themselves known. Dream Ernest never seemed to mind, and the dream would continue its normal course until Lucien would wake up.

Tonight, though, it was Ernest shuffling his feet in front of Lucien, head down, face as shy and nervous as someone about to lean in for a kiss.

Then he did.

In his dream, Lucien wasn’t sure what to do, so he’d pulled away, but Ernest had reached forward and pulled him in once more, kissing him fervently until Lucien was weeping with joy and relief that his affections were finally returned. Lucien knew it was a dream, but he didn’t care. It was impossible to track how quickly time was going by in real life, so he held Dream Ernest in his arms for as long as possible, closed his eyes, and tried to draw out the dream for as long as it would go. When his alarm finally stirred him from his dream, Lucien awoke with a bittersweet feeling in his chest.

He’d never get Ernest in real life, but in his dreams, they could be whatever Lucien desired. Lucien would always long for more, but for the first time since it all began, Lucien realized he could be okay with this.

He still clung to his robot plan, though. Being an android would certainly streamline a lot of issues.


	7. Chapter 7

Summer had come to Maple Bay, and Ernest was finally home. Lucien smiled to himself as he cuddled up on the Vega couch, holding Ernest close to his chest as they watched the rest of an anime that they’d begun over a month before. It had been a bad idea to begin the show right before finals, but Ernest had been curious and Lucien had been desperate to share. They had been waiting for this night all month, and now that it was finally here, it was....

Less impressive than they’d both expected.

The show hadn’t disappointed, but a string of bad decisions had left the night feeling a little lackluster. Lucien had been in a sour mood that day which left him and Ernest feeling a bit estranged, then a stomach ache from Ernest meant constant pausing so he could retreat to find something to relieve the pain he was in. Lucien was patient, but the night had certainly not gone over very well. It was nice, now that they were finally settled, but there was still something about how Ernest was acting.

So removed. So distant.

Lucien wished Ernest wouldn’t do this tonight. All he wanted was to enjoy a good movie with his best friend. The odds seemed stacked against him, though, so as the credits of the show started rolling, Lucien got up.

“I’m gonna head out, man,” Lucien admitted, “It’s been a rough day and I feel like my presence isn’t helping anything. We can try again in two days, meet up for video games at my place or something, but I think we need to let today go.”

“Ya, you’re probably right,” Ernest mumbled as he got off the couch and followed Lucien to the door, “I’ll walk you home.”

Lucien looked across the street to his house and then back at Ernest, a small smirk on his face, “Okay.”

It was late. Hugo had said goodnight to the boys hours ago and as they crossed the street, Lucien noticed that none of the lights in the Bloodmarch house were on, save the one at the front door and in the living room. As they reached the front door, Ernest took Lucien’s hand.

“I need to tell you something.”

Lucien looked over at Ernest, his stomach immediately tightening. Ernest looked so conflicted and upset, like the news he was about to deliver might strike Lucien dead where he stood. Lucien’s mind was racing, filling with dozens of horrible thoughts. Ernest had been secretly dating someone for years, Ernest was moving away to finish college, Ernest and Hugo were moving out of state. Out of the country even! Ernest was taking that job down in South America to study the Golden Lion Tamarin, every single thought as heartbreaking as the last....

“Is it good or bad?” Lucien asked nervously, trying to breathe around bowling ball-like weight in his stomach.

“I don’t know,” Ernest admitted. Suddenly, he shook his head and waved his hands, “You know what, forget it... I don’t want you to be upset. We’ve had a rough night and I don’t want you to have a hard time falling asleep. It’s not that important anyways, it’s fine.”

Lucien looked at his front door, barely an arm’s length away, then back at Ernest, who looked so dejected and upset that Lucien could hardly imagine just what was tearing him up inside. He’d already imagined the worst possible scenarios. Hearing them from Ernest’s mouth wouldn’t lighten the feeling, but it probably wouldn’t make it that much worse. Lucien sat down on the front porch and motioned for Ernest to sit down beside him. The boy took him up on his offer, sitting as far away from Lucien as physically possible.

Was this why the day had gone so badly? Why Ernest had seemed to be pulling away? Had he been sitting on this bad news, waiting for the right moment to tell Lucien? That must have been it. Lucien took an unsteady breath.

Whatever the news was, he’d still wake up tomorrow with his life and his health. Lucien turned to look at Ernest.

“Okay. What is it?”

Ernest looked close to tears now. Lucien tried to take another steadying breath, but his body was shaking too much to allow for such a thing.

“I love you,” Ernest croaked. Lucien felt a brief stab of anger. Why would Ernest try to lighten the situation with this claim? Why was he prefacing this bad news with an I love you? Why were their tears streaming down his face.

“I know you do, Ernest, but what do you have to tell me?” Lucien demanded. Ernest shook his head.

“No, no, I mean!... I mean that I love you,” Ernest was crying now. Truly crying. His body was shaking and his breaths were coming out in strained hiccups. Lucien stared at Ernest for a moment, trying to figure out what was going on.

Then it hit him.

“Like, Love love?” Lucien asked, feeling a numbness overtake his body, “Like, Boyfriend Love?” 

Ernest was crying so hard he could barely speak, so he simply gave a slow, nervous nod. 

Lucien suddenly jumped to his feet, “Haha! Awesome!” He cried before throwing his arms around Ernest and pulling him into a tight hug. Ernest angled his head and kissed Lucien.

It wasn’t a spectacular kiss. Lucien’s lips were tightly pursed and Ernest was puckering too strongly. Their noses were smashed into each other and, at some point, Lucien had started to cry too. The mess of hot tears and snot made the kiss strange and sticky and salty until Lucien found himself pulling away just to gather his wits.

He’d never been kissed before.

Ernest pulled him in for another kiss before letting Lucien go, a nervous smile on his face, “So... Does that mean?”

“Since I told you, Ernest. How could you doubt me?” Lucien chuckled softly as he pushed Ernest’s hair out of his face and cupped his cheek. He was crying so hard. God, his heart felt like it was bleeding a thousand repressed emotions that were finally getting their relief. Everything hurt and felt wonderful at the same time. Lucien would definitely have to get used to the whole kissing thing, though...

“It’d been so long, I figured you’d moved on,” Ernest admitted softly as his hands clung to Lucien’s arms, holding him in place, “Especially after you started working, I thought you’d met someone else, I wasn’t sure.”

“Ernest, I was ready to wait!” Lucien laughed, “For a thousand years, I was ready to wait for you, even if you’d never come.”

“God, I’m so sorry,” Ernest threw his arms around Lucien and held him tightly, “I’m so sorry I made you wait....”

Lucien leaned into Ernest’s touch and closed his eyes.

Five years, since he’d told Ernest.

Five, long, painful years.

Suddenly, Lucien’s happy tears turned painful and strained as he sobbed. So many suppressed tears, so much pain and hurt pushed aside and now it didn’t matter anymore because he was loved. He was loved in return. Ernest shifted their positions so he could hold Lucien as Lucien sobbed. Time felt like it no longer existed as Lucien experienced five years of healing in less than an hour.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” Ernest whispered, “Making you wait for so long, I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“You don’t need to,” Lucien croaked, “You love me, Ernest. That’s all that matters. But when? Why?”

“When? I don’t know exactly but I know it’s been for a long time, and why... Because it’s you, Lucien. I want to do everything with you. You make me so happy! Every time I dated a girl, I always knew there was something wrong. It didn’t feel the same way it feels like when I am with you. Then I realized, why am I trying to simulate that feeling with someone else when I have the real thing? But when I finally realized it, I was afraid I was too late.”

“Never.”

Ernest shook his head and smiled sadly as he kissed Lucien. He’d have to get used to that. Mental preparation to become a robot had left Lucien very unused to physical forms of affection. Ah well, for Ernest, he could get used to it.

“I burned my copy of Edgar Allen Poe’s short stories,” Lucien said suddenly. He didn’t know why he said that.

Ernest shook his head and ruffled Lucien’s hair affectionately, “You are so silly,” Ernest admitted softly, “I love that, though. We’ll go to the library on Tuesday and pick you up on a new copy, eh?”

Lucien laughed a hoarse, wet laugh, “That sounds nice.”

Ernest smiled as they sat in silence, petting Lucien’s hair as Lucien hugged him. It was all so messy and strange and perfect.

“So, are we dating, then?” Ernest asked suddenly. Lucien raised his eyebrow and smiled.

“What will that entail?” He inquired, “Staying up late at each other’s houses, playing video games and watching movies? Cuddling and buying each other meals? Picking me up at work and visiting you at college?”

“Oh ya,” Ernest hummed softly, “So, I guess our relationship won’t change that much, huh?”

“I mean,” Lucien looked around before smiling nervously, “I wouldn’t mind kissing a little more?” He offered.

Ernest took Lucien’s hand and squeezed it, “Then we can do that. Now,” Ernest looked around, “It’s probably really late, and we’re not gonna get very much sleep tonight, so maybe I should head home, and we can see each other tomorrow?”

“Work tomorrow,” Lucien answered immediately, “Next day?”

“Perfect. We can hang out all day. But until then, I’ll talk to you once I get inside,” Ernest assured. Lucien smiled and nodded. He turned to go inside but Ernest pulled him back for another kiss.

Still messy and too stiff and puckered and pursed and funny. Ernest pulled away and grinned, “We’ll have to practice!”

“Indeed,” Lucien chuckled as he hugged Ernest tightly, “Okay, walk home safe, alright?”

“I’ll contact you the moment I get home. Goodnight, Lucien.”

“Goodnight, Ernest.”

The moment Lucien got in his house, he fell onto the floor in the living room, grabbed a pillow from the couch and screamed into it. Damien was asleep, and Lucien would be respectful of that, but he was still ecstatic and he wanted to let the world know. Lucien got on the computer just as Ernest sent him a text that was mostly garbled words to signify excited screaming.

It was three in the morning by the time he got into bed, and it was well past five by the time Lucien finally fell asleep. He’d be miserably tired at work the next day, but he didn’t even care. He and Ernest. Dating. Boyfriends. It had been five, long, impossibly hard years.

But everything had turned out alright. Just perfect, in fact, and that night, as Lucien fell asleep, there was no fantasies about being a robot traversing the stars, no thoughts of being a journalist in Seattle, spending his life alone. That night, as Lucien retreated to his dreams, his thoughts were on Ernest, and the future that lay ahead for both of them. Together.


End file.
